Relationships are tricky. I am like every other human being and have struggled and suffered in them. I was in an abusive marriage where my ex husband ridiculed and berated me. I was dumped and heartbroken by my best friend over something I still don’t understand. I left a job when I didn’t get along with my boss.
And then I came across The Three Principles. This understanding transformed everything for me in relationships.
It allowed me to see that I am not experiencing the other person, I am experiencing my thoughts of the other person.
What this means is it’s not the other person’s behavior or actions that cause my hurt or upset, it’s my perception of it. It’s what meaning I give to their actions and words.
For example, this past weekend I was on a retreat in Mexico. I found myself judgemental about a fellow participant. I had interaction with him and a few other people where I felt like what I said did not matter. I was frustrated and angry. After I left the interaction I walked in the lush green jungle from one building to the next. I thought to myself, he has such a big ego.
And then I remembered the principles. His ego did not cause my frustration and anger. My ego and my thinking about him caused the struggle. I saw in that moment how I felt like I had to prove myself to him. I felt less than. I realized that this was old habitual thinking. When I saw this, I let it go. I didn’t have to listen to or believe those thoughts. I have free will. At that moment I felt 50 years of my own internal struggle drop. It felt like I dumped a 100 pound backpack to the ground.
When I dropped the backpack I felt love and respect for this man. I saw how he was authentically sharing and supporting. For the remainder of the retreat I enjoyed his company and I felt empowered and worthwhile. I know this sounds simple.
That is what makes The Principles so difficult. It’s simple. I have helped many people mend all kinds of relationships. If there is one in your life you would like to improve. Please email me. I would be honored to support you.
Sending love and light.