“OOP’S THAT WAS ME!”

Relationships are tricky.

I’m like every other human being—
I’ve struggled, suffered through them, and grown because of them.

I’ve been in an abusive marriage, where I was ridiculed and belittled.
I’ve been heartbroken, abruptly cut off by a best friend over something I still don’t understand.
I’ve left my job because I couldn’t get along with my boss.

Years ago, I came across a teaching class called The Three Principles.

This simple but profound understanding changed everything, especially my relationships.

It revealed something radically clear:

I’m never experiencing another person. I’m experiencing my thoughts about them.

It’s not someone’s behavior that creates my upset—
It’s the meaning I give to their behavior.
My interpretation.
My perception.

The stories I carry from the past quietly shape the present.

Recently, I was on a retreat in Mexico.

In one group interaction, I felt invisible.
I spoke, but it seemed like no one heard me. Especially one participant, who I felt brushed off by.

Walking through the lush jungle between sessions, I felt a spike of judgment.

He has such a big ego, I thought.

But then I remembered the Principles.

His ego wasn’t causing my pain.
My thoughts about him were.

What I saw in that moment:

I had been trying to prove myself.
I felt less than, and I didn’t want to admit it.

It wasn’t him—it was my old, habitual thinking.

Seeing that gave me the space to let it go.

It felt like I dropped a 100-pound backpack I didn’t even know I was carrying.

And what rushed in next?

Relief. Clarity. Love.

I saw him as someone who was simply sharing himself, not trying to diminish me.
I enjoyed his company for the rest of the retreat.

And more importantly, I felt empowered, grounded, and whole.

That’s the beauty—and challenge—of The Principles:

They’re simple. But they ask us to look in a different direction.

This shift has helped me—and many of my clients—transform marriages, friendships, and work relationships.

Sometimes we think we’re reacting to a partner, a colleague, or a boss.
But often, we’re reacting to an old belief inside ourselves.
And once we see that, something softens.

We no longer need others to change. We begin to change the way we see.

✧ A Gene Key Reflection

“Grace is what remains when we stop resisting what is.”
— Gene Key 22: Dishonor → Graciousness → Grace

This is what it means to drop the backpack.
To stop carrying the weight of old stories.
To stop resisting what’s happening—and meet it with grace instead.

And when we do?

We become free to love.
Free to lead.
Free to begin again.

If you want to feel what this transformation sounds like,
listen here to “Grace” by Jeff Buckley.

It’s the 22nd Gene Key—sung from the soul.